


Sex 101

by protectoroffaeries



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Blowjobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fellatio, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Lessons, Vaginal Sex, does anyone actually use that word?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 22:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15083072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectoroffaeries/pseuds/protectoroffaeries
Summary: “A B min- I didn’t realize you weregrading me!”





	Sex 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [indigoire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigoire/gifts).



> wildemount uses the same grading system as the usa now
> 
> don’t read if you’re under 18

Fjord stops outside of Jester’s bedroom and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a half a second before gentle tapping his knuckles against the door. He wants this, of course he does, but the  mere thought of this kind of  _ lesson  _ has him blushing, and he’s going to have to see Jester for the indefinite future after this. Which is not a bad thing, because he adores Jester. It’s just that Fjord doesn’t want to embarass himself in front of her. He knows that it’ll be all he can think about tomorrow if he does. 

The doorknob turns, and for a fraction of a second, Fjord panics, because what if Jester opens the door naked? That happens in those romances she always reads, right? But his fears are immediately squashed when the door swings open. Jester is fully-clothed, a bright smile on her face. 

“Fjord!” she says, “Come in!” 

Jester ushers him into her room and slams the door behind him. Her room’s a mirror image of the one he’s sharing with Molly - or,  _ was _ sharing with Molly, since Beau’s sleeping in there tonight. The two of them were already squabbling when he left.

But the room is exactly the same, the same two beds and two wardrobes, the same tiny window on the wall. One of the beds has the covers pulled up, but the other has them tangled at the foot of the bed. 

Jester walks over to the messier bed and sits down on it, and then she pats the free space beside her with her tail. Fjord obligingly sits down next to her. 

“Sooooo,” she says.

“So,” he agrees.

“You seem nervous.” 

Fjord gives an awkward chuckle. Is he really that obvious? He tugs on his collar a bit, acutely aware that he’s probably blushing. His face feels hot enough for it, anyway. “Yeah, I am, a little.” 

“That’s okay, I was nervous my first time, too,” Jester says, nodding her head. “But you should know, I’m going to make you feel  _ really  _ good, so you won’t have to be nervous for long.”

“This isn’t my first time,” he says, a touch defensively. He remembers fumbling in the dark and the way his old crewmate swatted his hand away and took the lead, but the details are blurry, like all his memories from the night the ship sank. 

“I was nervous my second time, too,” Jester says, and then she lowers her voice to a whisper and adds, “because the guy I was fucking was not very good.” She finishes at a normal volume: “But I found better people, and I had better times, so I’m only going to teach you the best.” 

“I… appreciate that,” Fjord says, and he means it, but it still feels a little strange saying so.

“Are you ready now?” Jester asks. “Because I understand if you’re not, just tell me when.” Of course there’s no beating around the bush. It’s Jester, after all. Her directness is one of the many things Fjord likes about her. 

“I’m ready.” Fjord wipes his sweaty palms on his pants as subtly as possible. “Tell me what you want me to do.” 

“What I want you to do first is tell me what you know you like,” Jester says, and she springs backwards, lying flat on her back across the bed. “And what you know you don’t like.” 

“Uh… well, I don’t like to be in pain. Or tied up. I’m not sure… let’s not start out with any magic stuff, either, alright?” Fjord says, mostly guessing on what he doesn’t like based on his limited knowledge. Jester makes a  _ mhm _ noise. “And I want you to stop if I say stop about anything. ”

“Of course,” Jester says, “and what do you like?” When Fjord hesitates on how to answer, Jester modifies the question: “What would you like to try tonight? Any ideas?”

Fjord bites back the comment  _ I thought you were the teacher here _ because he is glad she’s asking him for his input. He just wishes he had some input to give. “Just… whatever basic stuff you think’s good for a second time,” he says, and then he takes a calculated risk and adds, “I’m eager to learn, Professor Lavore.” 

It pays off. Jester giggles. 

“We should start by warming up,” she says, “so lay back.” 

Fjord does as he’s told, kicking off his boots and lying back on the bed beside her. She rolls over in one fluid motion, straddling him so quickly that his mind barely has time to process. His surprise at her speed must show on his face, because she giggles again. And then she kisses him.

Fjord has kissed more people than he’s slept with, so this is well within his comfort zone. It’s easy to focus on the slide of Jester’s lips against his, and the way her tongue darts past his teeth. It doesn’t surprise Fjord to find Jester’s an explorer, curiously licking at his palate and the inside of his cheeks, trying to find the most sensitive areas. Fjord follows her lead.

Jester pulls away, breathless, after a thorough exploration. Her cheeks look a deeper shade of blue, and she’s grinning from ear-to-ear. “You’re a good kisser,” she says, and then she adds, “Are you sure you’ve only done this one time?”

“I’ve done- I’ve kissed a few more times than I’ve… done everything else,” Fjord admits. Now that he doesn’t have her mouth distracting him, he’s extremely aware of how she’s pressed against him nearly from head-to-toe, the layers of clothing in between them doing little to actually separate them. His sleep clothes are thin, and her nightgown is even thinner. 

As if she can hear his thoughts, Jester squeezes her thighs around Fjord’s hips and grinds down. Fjord jerks, and his cock jumps to attention. Jester grins at him and slides her hand between them. “Someone is excited,” she teases, and Fjord can feel himself blushing again.

Fjord glances away from her face, and he gets an eyeful of her cleavage. Jester’s breasts are almost falling out of her gown, and Fjord lifts his hand to touch one on an impulse, but falters before he makes contact. Jester grabs his hand and guides it her left breast: “You’re allowed to touch it.” 

Fjord drags his fingertips across the curve of her breast, and she moans, soft and low. 

It gives him a spark of confidence, and he drawls out his words more than usual when he asks, “You gonna teach me somethin’, Jester?” 

Jester sits back on Fjord’s thighs, and Fjord only has a moment to be disappointed by the loss of her body against his before she’s hiking up her nightgown and yanking it over her head. In a handful of seconds, she’s almost completely naked, and the small pair of panties she’s still wearing don’t leave anything to the imagination. Fjord’s eyes are everywhere, he can’t decide where to look. She’s all gentle curves, and he has the most ridiculous urge to run his hands up and down her sides, across her chest, over her legs. 

“Lesson number one is that it’s a good idea to warm up,” Jester says, and Fjord’s gazes snaps up to meet hers for a split second before trailing downwards again. He already feels pretty warm, but he keeps that to himself. He doesn’t think that’s what she meant, anyway. 

She hooks her fingers into his waistband and pulls his pants down just enough to draw his cock out. Fjord bites his lip hard enough to bruise when she touches him directly, and then one of his teeth punch straight through when she leans down and licks his cock without warning. 

“ _ Holy fucking shit, Jester,”  _ he says, loud enough that he probably woke up the whole hallway. He could not give less of a fuck in this moment, as he looks down at Jester and makes eye contact with her as she licks at the head of his cock like it’s a particularly tasty lollipop. She’s grinning, Fjord can feel the satisfaction and amusement rolling off her. 

Jester continues licking at the head for another minute or so, light licks that send jolts of heat racing through Fjord, and then she pulls away and murmurs something he doesn’t quite hear before wrapping her hand around the base of him. Her hand’s slick all of a sudden, and  _ of course  _ she knows a spell that’s useful during sex.

Fjord wonders briefly what other tricks she knows, before his brain short circuits as she takes as his cock into her mouth as far as she can manage and sucks  _ hard.  _

Fjord’s hip buck before he can think to control himself, but thankfully Jester was prepared, with one of her arms slung across his hips to hold him down. She eases on the suction to swirl her tongue around the length of him, and then she hollows her cheeks again, a small bit of drool dribbling from the corner of her mouth as she readjusts her angle for the second go. 

It’s barely been any time at all before Fjord feels like he’s on the razor’s edge of finishing, and he doesn’t really want tonight’s lessons to end at  _ one _ , so he reaches for her and finds purchase on one of her horns, trying to push her back before it’s too late. “Jester- Jester, I think,  _ fuck,  _ I think I got this lesson.” 

Jester pulls off of him, and she gives the tip of his cock a wet kiss before she backs away entirely. 

“That was only half the first lesson,” she says, wiping her mouth with the back of her arm. She pulls his pants down to his ankles, and he kicks them the rest of the way off. “In fact, it was more of a demonstration. Sort of.” 

Jester tugs on the ribbons on the sides her panties, which Fjord thought were decorative, but  when they come unlaced, the panties fall off. Huh. Useful design. 

“You know how I just did a lot of really great stuff with my mouth for you? I’m going to tell you how to do that for me.” 

Oh.  _ Oh.  _ “Alright. Do you want me to come down there?” 

Jester waves him off and crawls up the bed next to him. She tucks her knees under his arms and leans back a bit, and he holds her around the waist so that she doesn’t topple over. And because he really wants to touch her. 

Her tail wraps around one of his forearms for extra balance, and then she uses two fingers to spread herself. Fjord takes a sharp, deep breath, and she overwhelms all of his senses, which causes him to miss the beginning of her speech on what to do.

“-and here is the most important part, honestly,” she slides her fingers upwards and gives her clit a quick rub before holding it between them. “Are you ready? You  _ were _ listening, right?”

“Yes,” Fjord says, “of course I was.”

“Uh-huh,” Jester says, unconvinced. She lifts her hips and raises an eyebrow at him, as if to say  _ prove it,  _ and he will be damned before he backs down from a challenge like that.

Fjord goes for the  _ most important part _ first, uses the tip of his tongue to hammer on her clit to the best of his ability. He’s not too sure about the technique, but from the way Jester shouts, arches her back, and digs her fingers into the sheets, he thinks he’s doing alright for his first time.

When he lets up, she deflates, back bending again, chest heaving, and she gives a little groan. He pauses for a moment, but her tail unwinds from his arm and flicks at him in a clear gesture for him to continue. So Fjord redoubles his efforts, sliding his tongue between between her folds.

She tastes a bit better than he expected - like salt and bit of sweat, but it’s not overpowering. He tries a few different things, swirling and curling his tongue, but she responds the most to broad strokes and shallow dips inside her. She’s babbling in Infernal, though, so he has no idea what she’s saying. 

Eventually, she pulls away entirely. 

“That was good,” she says, laying down beside him, “you didn’t listen to what I said, though. It’s almost like you weren’t paying attention,” she says, though the lit to her voice tells him that she’s teasing.

Fjord still has one hand on her hip, though the new angle of her by his side makes a little awkward to hold. He doesn’t care much. But he uses his free hand to try and wipe his face clean, which actually just smears her juices around the lower half of his face even more. Ah well. Worse things to have on his face, he figures.

“What’d I do wrong?” 

“Your tongue,” Jester says, “should be as flat and firm as possible.” 

“Noted.”

“I give you a B minus for your first lesson,” she declares.

“A B min- I didn’t realize you were  _ grading me _ ,” Fjord sputters, somewhere between horror, disbelief, and amusement.  _ B minus _ . It didn’t sound like a  _ B minus  _ to him, what with all the shouting and Infernal.

“If you don’t want me to,” she says seriously, looking him in the eye, “then I won’t.” 

He thinks about it. He knows she’s mostly joking, and he trusts that if he says he doesn’t like it, she’ll stop. 

“You know what? This  _ is  _ a lesson,” Fjord says, “go ahead.”

“Good,” Jester says, a wicked grin replacing her serious expression in an instant, “because this will all be on the test.” 

“Well then, I’d better get back to studying.” 

Jester snorts, nodding, and then she’s sitting up again. “Lesson number two is that sex isn’t just about  _ here,”  _ she taps the tip of his cock with her tail, and he lets out a wordless yelp of surprise, “it’s a full body experience.” 

Before Fjord can ask what that means, Jester cups her breasts in her hands and flicks her thumbs over her nipples, giving a little delighted moan as she does. “I noticed you staring at these. If you wanna touch them - or put your mouth on them, that would be really good - you can.” 

Fjord’s hands replace Jester’s, and she shuffles closes so that he can shower kisses and licks all over her chest. He’s not even trying for finesse right now, he just wants to lavish every inch of her chest in a flurry of attention. Jester makes appreciative noises, squeaks and sighs.

Fjord takes one of her nipples into her mouth and sucks on it, then flicks his tongue over it. Jester's fingers thread through his hair, and she uses her grip on him to tug him off one breast and direct him to the other. 

“Use your teeth,” she advises, “but don’t bite me, though. Just drag the blunt-  _ oh yes,  _ that’s good.” 

Fjord carefully drags the blunt side of his front teeth across the tender flesh around her nipple, and then over the nipple itself. Then he gives it a few soothing licks.

Jester’s enjoying his ministrations, if the way she’s grinding against him is any indication. Her slick mixed with his saliva is running onto his skin every time she moves, and it makes his cock twitch with need. He likes this lesson -  _ gods,  _ he loves her chest - but he’s not sure if he’s going to be able to keep this up much longer. His blood feels like it’s about to boil out of his veins, and he  _ wants  _ it to, needs to stoke the fires until it consumes him. 

Fjord takes his mouth of Jester’s nipple, and she whimpers, a sound that threatens to short circuit his brain for half a second. “Jester, I don’t know how many more lessons I can get through tonight.”

Jester tilts her head to the side and gives him a searching look, one he can’t fathom the meaning of. “Okay, just one more lesson,” she says, “and then you should know all of the basics.”

She moves as she speaks, although thankfully she doesn’t take her chest far enough away from him that he has to let go. She just shifts back incrementally, and Fjord knows where she’s headed. “Lesson number three is that fucking is not so difficult if you don’t think about it too hard. Give me one of your hands.”

Fjord puts one hand in hers, and in the same moment, he brushes a finger over her nipple with the other. She grins at him and murmurs something that sounds like  _ dirty _ under her breath. 

Jester scoots backwards until her pussy brushes against Fjord’s cock, and Fjord groans, though it comes out sounding half like a squeak. She lets his cock slip between her folds, and then he feels her tail twine around him and guide him in, until the tip of his cock presses inside her. 

Jester’s tail disappears as quickly as it came, and then she sinks down onto his cock, slowly taking him, inch-by-inch, until she’s enveloped the length of him. 

Fjord is back to biting his lip as she takes him inside of her. Heat and pressure swim in his head, and though he’s doing his best to focus on not finishing quite yet, he doesn’t know how long he’s going to be able to stave off his orgasm. He’s all riled up in the best fucking way. 

_ “Oh, oh Fjord, you’re big,”  _ says Jester, and she lifts off of him a bit, only to drop back down, and it punches a choked breath right out of him. “But not  _ too _ big, you know?” She sounds really casual, given the circumstances. Fjord wants to fuck her until her brain’s in the same mess his currently is in, but he can’t focus enough, doesn’t have a clear concept of how to take control of the situation.

_ “Jester-”  _ he hisses, canting his hips and trying to buck up into her, but Jester rises off of him and slips back onto him at her own pace, and she’s not deterred by his desperation.

Jester takes his hand - the hand she’s been holding this whole time, how did Fjord forget about his own hand’s whereabouts? - and pulls it between her legs. “Touch my clit,” she commands, and he responds with, “Yes ma’am,” on instinct more than anything else. 

Jester giggles, but he cuts her amusement short by rubbing her clit, fingertips slipping against the slickness of her, and she gasps out a drawn-out,  _ “Yesss.”  _

“Jester- I’m not- I can’t-” Fjord can’t get the words out before he hits that boil point and  _ explodes _ , back arching, vision whiting. His brain is full pleasure and static, all his senses scrambled, and he comes back to himself just in time to register the last pulses of his cock inside her, a tired sort of satisfaction washing over him.

“Oh,” Jester says, but her giggle is pretty breathless. “You lasted longer than I expected, actually.”

“Thank you?”

“Now help me out, and then we can do a review and cuddle,” she says. She pulls off his softening cock, and Fjord feels another jolt of heat, seeing his cum smeared on her. 

Fjord’s fingers are still on her clit, so he adds a bit of pressure and rubs in insistent, merciless circles, and it’s not long before Jester throws her head back with a final shout. Fjord is in awe, watching her orgasm wrack her body, and he thinks he could do this every night, forever.

And then she comes back down, and she rolls off of him to lay beside him, tucking her hands under one of the pillows and giving him a bliss-laden smile. 

“So, what have you learned today?” 

Fjord holds up a hand, the one that’s covered in her slick, and counts off: “Warm up, include the whole body, and stop thinkin’ too hard.”

“Yes, good summary,” she praises, and it sounds so genuine that he can’t help but smile. “I think you have a grasp on the basics, but you should definitely take more lessons with me if you want to learn more advanced tricks.”

“Will do,” he promises, and she beams.

“Now is the part where we cuddle, if you want,” Jester says, and Fjord hums an affirmative. “Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?” 

“Whichever.”

“You’re the little spoon.”

Fjord rolls onto his sides, and Jester hooks an arm around him, pulling him close. He can feel her chest against his back, and it brings a small, dopey smile to his face. Then she hooks one of her legs around his and rests her head on his shoulder, and although the angle she has to hold her head at to keep from hitting him with her horns can’t be great for her neck, she seems content. Fjord knows he is, himself.

“What were my other grades?” he mumbles, almost asleep already.

“Hmm? B plus for boobs,” she says, “although next time we will have to expand on lesson two, because  _ someone  _ was in a rush today.” 

Fjord ignores her ribbing. “And for the grand finale?”

“A minus. Not bad grades,” she says through a yawn, “though there  _ is  _ room for improvement.” 

“Well, I plan on workin’ ‘til I have perfect marks,” Fjord says. 

“It will be a long and intensive process,” says Jester, “but with my tutelage, I have faith in you.”

Fjord snorts and closes his eyes, and then he drifts to sleep to the rhythm of Jester’s breathing, wondering what future lessons will hold. 


End file.
